I would like to take a few sessions to walk through a study of bitterness. Bitterness is the result of anger that is internalized towards someone else. That anger smolders internally for a long period of time but then eventually comes out in actions that are intended to hurt the intended target (person).
These thoughts come out of the life of David and his son Absalom who becomes bitter through some of David’s failures. We should also look at the consequences, particularly in responding to his son Absalom. This part of David’s story with Absalom is dripping with the poison of bitterness. I will call this first installment the following: entering the valley of betrayal.
We all go through trials of various kinds. We may face trials that involve the physical body. Those trials may include medical personnel and their inability to diagnose the source of a problem. We don’t slam them as doctors and nurses in those situations (or at least we should not). They are not all-knowing. But medical uncertainty is a test of life that we must negotiate at times. Other trials are a result of living in a fallen world. We have things that break down. We have people that fail to follow through. Some people just won’t care how their interaction affects us. Other people may do things deliberately to hurt us. Some hurt and pain in this world is less directed at us than it is at people in general. Some people just want others to feel a similar pain to theirs.
But I think the kind of trial that is perhaps the most intense and painful is attached to, or comes from, people who are close to us. The trials flowing out of personal relationships with family, close friends in the church body, or someone at work whom we trusted, tend to be the most devastating. We invest in these people. We share with them. We open ourselves up to their input. We involve ourselves in their interests. We spend time and treasure on their future or our combined future in various endeavors. I have counseled my own children and their spouses as much in this arena of hurt coming from other close relationships, as anything else, as they have gone into ministry. The hurt can run very deep. 
So when I began the study of David’s life with our church body, I anticipated that God would show me things about these kinds of trials. But I did not realize that the lessons and biblical patterns would be so revealing of my own heart idolatries as I processed the story of David within the greater story of the Bible. We as a church body worked our way through the David and Bathsheba event, but then we stopped the study for some other events. Then we reconvened our weekly look at David’s life. I took a step back in order to get an overview of the David and Absalom story, and I came out with some challenging thoughts regarding this mega-trial for David. He truly faced a deep trial that rocked not only his world, but those around him in the palace and in the kingdom. It was in seeing how David processed these events that I saw some things that may help us with our own pain and hurt when God allows us, too, to go through the valley of betrayal into the abyss of bitterness.
Notice with me how a parallel exists between Absalom and Judas Iscariot, along with David and Christ (we do not necessarily see evident bitterness in Judas but his actions point us towards someone with internal trouble). It was in seeing this parallel that I began to ask myself how David’s events should point me to the gospel and to Christ at its pinnacle. Furthermore, how should the parallels in the two stories and the pointing to Christ help me to process my own pain and hurt in people-sourced bitterness?
Notice with me how both Absalom and Judas were so close to the kingdom of God and yet they never enjoyed it. Can you see all the events Judas experienced? He was there for all of the miracles and the teachings of Christ. But his heart was not in it. Absalom grew up in the kingdom with his father. He benefited from his attachment to David. But as his adult life progressed, he was not satisfied with who he was and what he had. He wanted more. He did not like the way things were. Bitterness at his circumstances, specifically how David handled things (the rape of his sister and Absalom’s own return to the kingdom with no welcome by David), was deep in his heart. Notice how both Absalom and Judas were willing to destroy the one who represented God’s kingdom to them in order to get what they wanted. This is what bitterness does. The grasping for power in Absalom’s life is just the fruit of his own deeply hurt and sinful heart. Judas’ heart idolatry was clearly wrapped around the financial world in which he was so adept. He was given the charge of the disciples’ finances and was said to be a thief (John 12:6). But whatever income he gained and stole through the ministry of Christ, that money was not sufficient. He wanted something more. And he was willing to sell Christ to the enemies of the kingdom of God to get it. Absalom “worked” the kingdom people, gaining popularity. He wanted them to think he would be a much better leader than the present leadership (II Sam. 15). He was slowly destroying his dad’s credibility (or adding to what had already eroded in the Bathsheba event).
Both Absalom and Judas were deceitful, hypocritical men who were not what they seemed to be. This simply follows the above statements. They were hiding their personal agenda which was destructive for everyone involved. They did not care what the collateral damage was. Both Absalom and Judas ended up dying by hanging, one by his hair and one by his neck. Not only did they try destroying their leaders and closest friends, but they destroyed themselves in the end. But now I want to show you how we can see Christ in David as we pick up the story in 2 Samuel 15.
David crossed the brook Kidron and ascended the Mt. of Olives, weeping (II Sam. 15:30); we see Christ ascending to the Garden of Gethsemane facing the betrayal of Judas, physically and emotionally broken by the weight of what He faces. Both David and Christ are called by God to face their trial as something that cannot be avoided. In fact, it is clear that this is God’s doing. In Christ, we know this. But we must see it in David as well. And as David responds to what God is doing through the betrayal and death-threats of his own son, he must have the same kind of response as Christ. Jesus kneels in the garden and says to the Father, “Not my will, but Thine be done.” David says to the men carrying the Ark of the Covenant that they are to take it back to Jerusalem. David says, “If God says thus: ‘I have no delight in you,’ here I am. Let Him do to me as seems good to Him.” There is beauty and humility in David’s view of God and lack of defending himself in this moment. Bitterness Part II will pick up the study.
