In this final part of our study, I want to leave you with two simple steps for fighting bitterness in your life. I have had to fight it at different times. I have helped those close to me ward off the effects of its festering resenting and growing anger. Here are two steps for fighting bitterness:
Step #1: Recognize the Impact of Bitterness
For a parallel story, we see Peter who met a man who is described as being in the “gall of bitterness and the bond of iniquity” (Acts 8:9-25). This man’s anger had gone deep and had taken control. When this happens, bitterness becomes toxic waste that damages our inner man. Notice that the writer of Hebrews 12 has a section of general admonitions (vv. 14-15). Here he warns us about the effect that bitterness has if we let it loose in our midst and in our relationships with others. I think we can easily see this warning and its damaging effects played out in the life of Absalom. Consider the impact of bitter in the kingdom around him.
The reason that bitterness has such an impact on our lives is that bitterness is sourced in a poor view of God. As A.W. Tozer says, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” It is fascinating to note Deuteronomy 29:17-19, where the idea of bitterness in its general form shows up for the first time. Idolatry is the driving force as people turn from God and their hearts bear “poisonous and bitter fruit.” Rarely in the Bible do we see someone who is as honest about his struggle with bitterness as Job. He reaches out to God looking for help since his friends obviously have provided none that is sound. Job implies that God is at fault (9:18; 27:2). He speaks out of a heart and soul that is in anguish (7:11; 10:1). Like the Psalmist, he lets us know what is going on deep inside. And then, in the final chapters, it is Job’s view of God that God addresses. Job finally gets it! Job turns away from his bitterness to a good God once again.
Step #2: Resist the Infection of Bitterness
The first principle I encourage you to follow in resisting bitterness is to make sure you have passages of Scripture memorized and/or easily accessible to reread and meditate on that remind you of the overall goodness of God. We doubt this truth in the depths of bitterness.
The second principle is sourced in the need to make sure you are daily reaffirming the specific goodness of God as found in the cross. I call this the gospel antibiotic that fights the infection of sin in its most powerful forms including the poison of bitterness. Psalm 103:10-14 is one of those passages: “He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.” 
The third principle is that you must deal with your pride. We believe we deserve so much better than we get; that is a huge problem in each of us. We struggle to remember that Jesus brought us undeserved forgiveness. I believe we truly need these daily reminders of God’s good news spoken to our soul so that we don’t drift into taking it for granted. Colossians 3:12-13 remind us that we are to be ready to forgive others even as Christ has forgiven us. So once again, sourced in the gospel, we find truth addressing something that fights bitterness.
The fourth principle for fighting bitterness is sourced in Romans 12:19-21. God is the only one with the right to take vengeance out on those whom He chooses to punish. We are not equipped to be the judge and jury; we must not. Paul’s words are so crucial because he does not want us to hold onto evil, nor does he want evil to get a hold on us. Compare Absalom and Joseph. What a difference in how they responded to the pain and hurt that came into their lives through their family! Genesis 50:20 is an Old Testament version of Romans 8:28-29. God expects us to put away the record of wrongs that we have held against someone who has hurt us (1 Cor. 13:5). When that someone seeks forgiveness and reconciliation, I am called to open my heart, forgive, and pursue love. Applying this biblical counsel will protect our hearts from the poison of bitterness.
